Admit It
by fadedelegance
Summary: T for language. Mike and Connie have a very important conversation. This is the sequel to "Nothing" and the second installment in my M/C series.


**Disclaimer: Dick Wolf and NBC own "Law and Order". I don't.**

** A/N: Okay, so after "L+O" was cancelled (yeah, still bitter about that), since I'm a HUGE M/C shipper, I started thinking of ways for them to be together, and I came up with this entire storyline. It's how I would continue the series if I were writing it, and it basically evolved into its own little alternate universe, so I'd say I have my own "L+O" AU for which I write fics. I have a series of nine stories so far—this one is the second installment. I'll post the other ones later. Also, this fic is special to me because you know what? It's the first M/C fic I ever wrote. C-: **

** I'm dedicating it to Linus, Alana, June, and Angie. ~Abby 8D**

**Admit It**

_I keep waiting_

_ For you to take me_

_ You keep waiting_

_ To save what we have_

_ I will make sure to keep my distance_

_ Say I love you when you're not listening_

_ And how long can we keep this up?_

_ Make sure to keep my distance_

_ Say I love you when you're not listening_

_ And how long 'til we call this love?_

_ Love_

_ -Christina Perri, "Distance" _

Setting: June 2010…

Several members of the Manhattan D.A.'s office and the NYPD showed up for the wedding of one of the most popular ADAs to his longtime girlfriend.

The ceremony and reception both took place outside, in the bride's sizeable back yard. The seats and refreshments were under a large tent. A few feet away, a small stage was set up with amps and speakers, and a band was playing.

Mike sat by himself at one of the tables, feeling more nervous than he'd ever felt in his life.

He had to tell her. He had to tell her tonight.

But God, it was going to be so difficult.

He shook his head at himself, a small disbelieving smile on his face.

He could go to trial and verbally eviscerate a murder suspect on the stand without feeling any semblance of fear—yet here he sat, scared out of his wits about talking to a woman.

But this wasn't just any woman. This was _Connie_ _Rubirosa_—the most wonderful woman he'd ever met—the woman he'd loved since the day he met her.

It'd taken him, what, all of two seconds to fall for her?

He knew what he'd decided to do was what was best…

He sighed.

_Of course you're terrified, _he thought. _This is something you only get one chance to say—one chance. And once you've said it, it's out there for good—you can't take it back…So don't fuck up._

"_There_ you are—am I really that bad of a wedding date?" a voice behind him bantered good-naturedly.

Mike turned around and looked up.

There stood Connie, looking as beautiful as she always did.

He gave a small smile at her remark.

"You're not a bad wedding date at all," he said softly. "I'm just being anti-social…And not because of you. I'm so glad we came here together," he added.

"Me, too," Connie said, sitting down across from him.

After a brief pause during which they made eye contact—

"Mike, I've got something I'd like to tell you," Connie said.

"Sure, what is it?"

"I reported Emily Ryan to the Bar."

Mike was stunned. For a moment, he forgot all about what he'd been planning to say to her.

"What?"

"I reported Emily Ryan to the Bar," Connie repeated.

"Connie—"

"I had Diaz arrested and charged him with perjury, but his attorney and I made a deal in exchange for his cooperation. He tells the Bar overseers that Ms. Ryan told him to lie under oath—and he serves the minimum sentence. He took the deal."

"Connie, I—I am so moved that you're doing this for me, but you can't go through with it," Mike gently pled with her. "You can't."

"Too late. We already had a meeting with the overseers," Connie said calmly. "They've already begun their investigation."

Mike sighed.

"Connie, Emily Ryan is _ruthless._ She's vindictive, she's spiteful…She's going to come at you with everything she's got."

"Let her," Connie said darkly. "She won't find anything. She and her clinic can comb through my record all they want, but it is _spotless._ I've got nothing to hide, and she's got nothing on me."

"She's a despicable human being, Connie, and I can't stand you being in her line of fire just for my sake," Mike said concernedly.

"I'm not in her line of fire," Connie said in a soft but threatening tone of voice. "She's in mine."

Her words jogged Mike's memory: back to the Dresner case—when New York County Legal Aid went on strike, and the judge at Ted Sanderson's arraignment hearing appointed Connie as Sanderson's council, so Mike and Connie had had to be on opposite sides: him for the prosecution, her for the defense. And _damn_, had she been a worthy adversary. The majority of the case had consisted of her annihilating him. He'd had to admit, at one point, he'd been seriously afraid he'd lose.

There was no doubt about it—Connie could be quite dangerous when she wanted to be.

She was a hell of an attorney—most definitely a force to be reckoned with.

"She's screwed," Mike then said, sounding half in awe and half triumphant.

"I knew you'd see things my way," Connie bantered.

Mike gave a sweet, dimple-displaying smile.

Connie felt a rush.

"Connie—how can I thank you?" Mike asked, humbled.

"You don't have to," Connie said warmly. "You've done enough for me already."

"How?" Mike asked.

"By helping me put Woll in prison—by helping me put all that behind me," Connie replied gently. "Do you mind if we take a walk?" she added.

"I'd like that," Mike said.

As the two of them walked side-by-side—

"Mike, I never told you this, but…I'm glad it was you handling Woll's trial—being my partner on the case," Connie said in a soft, grateful voice. "I wouldn't have had it any other way."

Mike melted.

"You really mean that?" he asked.

"Yes," Connie said, looking him in the eyes.

"It was an honor helping you," Mike said softly. "I…I was in it for you, you know…"

"I know," Connie said, very moved.

They walked in silence for a bit.

Then—

"Mike—when you decided to take the EADA job in Queens…I was the first person you told aside from Jack…but you didn't tell me why," Connie said softly.

Of course, Connie already knew the reason—she just wanted to hear him say it.

Mike's heart immediately began to race.

_This is it,_ he thought.

He sighed and then paused for a moment, as he worked up the nerve to be honest with her.

"I'm leaving because…because I've gotten too emotionally involved," he finally said.

He wasn't looking at Connie, but she knew he was telling the truth.

"And I can't…I can't stay professional because of that…" he said softly.

Connie's heart was racing, as well.

She'd seen Mike vulnerable before—but never this much so. It was very moving to her.

She stopped walking. Mike did, as well. He turned and stood in front of her.

There was a brief pause as they looked at each other.

"I'm going to miss you, Connie," Mike said sweetly. "It's not that I didn't enjoy working with you. I did. Working with you has been _such_ an honor. You are a _great _prosecutor. If Jack doesn't replace me with you, he's insane…Anyway, it's just…I can't be your coworker anymore…"

"I'm going to miss you, too," Connie said. "Mike, working with _you_ has been an honor. You are _so_ intelligent…But I really would like to know why you can no longer be my coworker."

_Come on, Mike. Please_, she thought, asking him to say to her what she'd wanted him to say for a long time.

Mike sighed.

"Because…God, talk about ambivalence…Half of me has wanted to be this honest for a long time, but the other half? The other half of me has wanted nothing more than just to keep to myself and never have this conversation with you because I'm so afraid of driving you away from me. But then I think that unless I'm completely honest, it's just going to continue to hurt me, so…I'm transferring…Wait, that made no sense. Damn it…"

"It's okay," Connie said gently. "I understand. You have something you need to get off your chest before you leave."

"Yeah," Mike muttered, again, not looking at her.

"I'm listening," Connie said patiently.

Mike sighed.

"It's okay," Connie repeated, trying to make eye contact with him.

"You know—I'm still amazed that you don't despise me after all the shit I've pulled—mainly in regards to that juror," Mike said. "I was so sure you'd transfer…I told Jack I thought _I_ should transfer, but he told me to man the hell up and work it out with you. He was right."

"I didn't know you considered leaving after that. You gave me space like I asked you to. You were completely genuine and sincere when you apologized. I knew you felt bad. I just had no idea you felt _that_ bad."

"I felt terrible. And it still bothers me sometimes. I still can't believe I did that…I have _never_ wanted to hurt you, but I still did. I still got way too competitive—way too carried away with getting a conviction. I still fucked up big time…It feels like I always do when it comes to you..."

"That's not true," Connie said gently. "No one's perfect, Mike. Please forgive yourself."

Emboldened by those words, Mike was able to muster all the courage he could and looked her in the eyes.

"I will," he said, adding, "I'll never hurt you again."

"I know," Connie said, returning his gaze.

She thought he had the prettiest eyes.

"Mike, why are you transferring?" she asked.

They were still making eye contact, Connie hoping he wouldn't look away from her.

He didn't.

"Because," he said softly but sincerely. "I love you…"

Connie melted.

Finally…

Finally, he'd admitted it. _Finally_, he'd said it.

"I know," Connie said softly, deeply moved.

"I'm so sorry, Connie. I just…Like you said—I needed to get it off my chest before I leave. I—I'm sure I've ruined our relationship, and I'm wondering now whether I should've said anything at all…But maybe it's for the best—you never have to see me or speak to me again, and I'm able to stay professional and not make you uncomfortable. Maybe this way, everyone wins…Again, I've really enjoyed working with you. It was an honor. It'd be wonderful if some day we can both move on from this and—"

"Mike," Connie interrupted him, her tone of voice gentle.

She stepped closer to him.

"Come here, honey."

A look of complete surprise on his face, Mike stepped closer to her, and she wrapped her arms around him, embracing him tenderly, resting her head against his shoulder. Once the initial shock wore off, Mike wrapped his arms around her and held her close. The two of them stood there like that for a little while.

Then Connie looked up at him for a moment before leaning in and gently kissing him, reaching up with one hand to caress his face. He kissed her back just as gently.


End file.
